Sick Jokes

[BigBossMonkey]

Willy, a mental patient, mimes driving a car as he runs around the halls of an asylum. An orderly turns the corner and asks Willy what he's doing.

Willy replies, "I'm going to Chicago for the weekend."

The orderly chuckles and enters another patient's room and catches Bob pleasuring himself.

When asked what he is doing, Bob replies, "I'm screwing Willy's old lady while he's away in Chicago."


ROFL


This ones good too,

A man is sitting on a bench in the park reading a newspaper. Suddenly he throws the paper onto the ground and yells, “All politicians are *ssholes.”

A man sitting next to him in a finely pressed suit says, “I take offense to that!”

The pissed-off guy asks him, “Why? Are you a politician?”

“No," he replies, "I'm an *sshole.”

[PanzerFaust]

Actually it didn't take that long to type that up, namely it took 4 keystrokes (Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V). I win internets. I'd never heard the ones at the end either, but I thought they were priceless, too.