WARNING!

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WARNING!

Postby Gunther » Sun May 02, 2010 5:13 pm

PLEASE REPOST THIS WARNING FOR ALL YOUR FRIENDS. If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked. I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid;)
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Re: WARNING!

Postby rhonnin » Mon May 03, 2010 10:47 am

I feel pretty safe that no one wants to see me without a shirt on much less naked. :)
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Re: WARNING!

Postby FloobieDoobie » Tue May 04, 2010 3:31 pm

This reminds me of something that happened to me. I love this story so I'll share :)


When I was in my 20's I rented a row home here in Philly, being young I drank a GREAT deal and was within walking distance to one of the large party/bar areas of the city. So the Jehova's witnesses would regularly knock on my door and I would politely tell them "No thanks, No way in hell". This went on a couple times and I wondered how long it would take for me to get pissed off.

Well one morning I was on my couch sleeping off a mega bender from the night before (got in sometime after dawn). I was on the couch as I was too drunk to navigate the steps to my bedroom.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK, ......huh?....what?...I'm sorry officer......I didn't know she was your daughter........where am I?
KNOCK,KNOCK KNOCK ......hmmm I'm home, that's a good thing, who the fuck is knocking on my door?

I look down the hall and there at the frint door are a bunch of Jehova's. At this point I stink, hurt, and my mouth feels like it's packed with sand mixed with elmers glue.
"MOTHER FUCKERS!" I roll off the couch rather ungracefully as my shirt is halfway off from when I passsed out, so I disentagle myself from it, drop it on the floor......and then stop.

My pain filled mind just had an amazing thought. I know how to get rid of these mf'ers. I drop the rest of what I'm wearing and stroll down the hallway to the door in my birthday suit.

Now remember I'm 6'3" 220, dirty and stinking at this point and have a bruise the size of a volkswagon on my side from a fight earlier that week when we threw a bunch of a-holes out of the bar I worked at (the guy that did it had to be drug away by his buddies at least, as one of the other doormen pummeled him after he blindsided me).

So there I am walking down the hallway (about 20ft long) and the door has a big window, well this lady looks up just as I get 5 ft from the door and the look of horror on her face is just fucking priceless! She's an easy 300lb black woman in her sunday best complete with frilly hat and all the trimmings. She backs up just as I open the door and the other bunch with her turn back to the door just then and...........
BAM there I am standing buck naked with my junk swayin in the breeze, looking like I just spent time in prison, and get rolled while in there. None of them could do anything but stammer and look anywhere but at my cock staring them in the face. (too bad I didn't have morning wood, but as I was still pretty drunk I don't think I could have managed it :oops: )

So in my evil hungover state I say "Good Morning, would you like to come in a talk about Jesus?"
Remember I'm hung over and when I was that age I was a 2 pack a day smoker, so after a bender my voice sounded like shit.
I think all they heard was "Send all your women inside".

Well needless to say they backed up and quickly left the block. But the best thing is not one fucking time did I ever have a Jehova's Witness knock on that door again. I would see them in the neighborhood but they never came to my house.
THAT is my proof that the a Jehova blacklist that I'm somehow now on :twisted:
I got to sleep the rest of that day and woke up to eat dinner and go out to the bar again!

Moral of the story is: Don't piss off a drunk on a hangover, and your dick CAN get you some peace and quiet.
WWFD?
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Re: WARNING!

Postby McGuyver » Wed May 05, 2010 11:51 am

I always like to read a good Floobie story.

I would have done the same thing myself. Priceless!
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Re: WARNING!

Postby Gunther » Wed May 05, 2010 1:00 pm

Oh, that was awesome!
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Re: WARNING!

Postby betasoldier » Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:21 pm

Awesome Floobs, awesome.
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