It's November 7th.
Colts visit the Patriots.
That is all.
Who is ready for some football?
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HeavyArmsCustum - Lieutenant General
- Posts: 1701
- Joined: Sat Nov 20, 2004 5:03 pm
- Location: Terre Haute, IN. This place sucks.
by HeavyArmsCustum » Mon Nov 07, 2005 6:21 pm
I just found this article on espn.com
I thought it was worth posting.
By DJ Gallo
Special to Page 2
Hundreds of years from now when historians are examining this NFL Week 9 wrap-up column and weighing its merits among the greatest works ever written, I don't want them to deduct points if I fail to touch on tonight's sure-to-be historic and life-altering Colts-Patriots matchup. And as we've all learned by now, thanks to the endless pregame hype, it is a contest that rivals a Yankees-Red Sox game in its importance to our national psyche and our future as a people.
Therefore, before commenting on Sunday's JV action -- and I had half a mind to ignore it completely because of its sickening levels of non-Colts-Patriots-ness -- I want to preview this evening's varsity tilt with some in-depth analysis on what New England must do to beat the favored Colts.
Patriots: Keys To The Game
1. Pray to God. (Or Tedy Bruschi. Whichever deity they feel is most powerful.)
2. Keep an eye on Colts linebacker Cato June. Dwight Freeney might get all the publicity on the Indianapolis defense, but as anyone who has seen the "Pink Panther" movies knows, Cato can attack from anywhere and without warning.
3. Rattle Peyton Manning with mood music. The Colts quarterback will come into the game with a determined and aggressive attitude. But if the Patriots pipe in Kenny Chesney music during the pregame warm-ups -- I suggest either "You Had Me From Hello" or "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem" -- it will take Manning's edge off.
4. Don't let the Colts get a lead. That will only allow them to gain confidence and start believing they can finally beat the Patriots. If Indianapolis does get a lead, however, New England must have injured safety Gus Scott activated so he can inform Manning that he played his college ball at Florida. Armed with that knowledge, Manning should then start hitting Scott in the chest with passes for the rest of the game.
So that's that. Now on to Sunday's action:
Headlines That Are Probably In Newspapers This Morning &
Baton Rouge: "Saints game poorly attended due to fear of Tom Benson attacks"
Phoenix: "Cardinals games poorly attended due to presence of Cardinals"
New York: "Vinny Testaverde euthanized"
Philadelphia: "Eagles succumb to locker room cancer"
San Francisco: "Rodeo cowboy Pickett fails to lasso Giants, but arms headline writers with tons of lame wordplay options"
Eight Things I Thought I Thought While Snorting Coffee Grounds Off A Stripper's Back
1. If Joey Harrington is going to continue to play this way, he should at least have some fun with it and pull a page from Chad Johnson's book. How awesome would it be if Harrington had a list of defensive backs from every opponent posted in his locker titled "Who Intercepted #3 in 2005"? And then after each game he could check off all the names. As well as writing the names of the linemen and linebackers who picked him off in the margins.
2. Bengals rookie receiver Chris Henry was yelled at by his coaches Sunday after receiving an excessive celebration penalty following a fourth-quarter touchdown catch. And for good reason, since Henry should know that his coaches will not, under any circumstances, put up with a receiver who celebrates and dances around. It's a strict policy they have there in Cincinnati on that kind of thing.
3. The football fans of Louisiana might take heat from some this week because only 32,637 fans showed up at LSU's 93,000-seat Tiger Stadium for the Saints' game against the Bears. But I have it on good authority that the 60,363 no-shows were out searching for Tom Benson in hopes of doing him bodily harm. And I commend them.
4. Say what you will about the comments of Fisher DeBerry, or even those of Joe Paterno, but the men obviously care only about college football. And I say that because after seeing both Byron Leftwich and Charlie Batch "run" with the ball a few times Sunday, I realized that DeBerry and Paterno obviously don't watch many NFL games.
5. The fact that former king of the turnover Jake Plummer has played well enough this year to earn a new nickname, "No Mistake Jake," well ... the only thing that would surprise me more is to one day hear the phrase: "Adam Carolla, TV ratings dynamo."
6. Very interesting Tom Brady interview on "60 Minutes" Sunday night. In the piece, Brady expressed yet again that he is just a regular guy, and said his three Super Bowl rings have left him unfulfilled. "I reached my goal, my dream. It's got to be more than this. I mean, this isn't what it's all cracked up to be," he admitted. I was surprised to hear Brady say that because I've always figured he had a very fulfilling life outside of football, what with all the photo shoots, baby goat hugging and porn site surfing. Now all I can do is hope he never mixes those three hobbies in hopes of breaking out of his malaise, as I simply can not imagine anything positive coming out of that.
7. Speaking of unsavory activities, according to The Charlotte Observer, two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were arrested early Sunday morning after an incident at a Tampa nightclub in which they got into a fight with patrons. The patrons had complained the pair was hogging the bathroom. Oh, and I should probably mention the cheerleaders were hogging the bathroom because they were supposedly having themselves some sex. But before you judge these young ladies for their actions, first consider that what they were doing to each other might merely be how the Carolina cheerleaders conduct spirit checks.
8. I love how the networks have decided to fully embrace fantasy football by sporadically scrolling fantasy stat updates across the bottom of the screen. And they're equal opportunity about it, too, listing the lousy players right along with the stars. But I wish they'd take it one step further and throw in a bit of commentary: "C. Palmer -- 19-26, 248 yds, 2 TD ... D. Brees -- 20-27, 270 yds, TD, Int ... T. Green -- 22-25, 235 yds, TD ... G. Frerotte -- 13 -- ... You know what? If Gus Frerotte is your fantasy quarterback, you've already lost. Showing you his stats will just rub it in ... Kerry Collins -- 21-40, 175 yds, 2 TD, Int ... E. Manning -- 18-33, 251 yds, TD &"
Rumors From My Nonexistent Inside Sources &
-- At the urging of his agent, Drew Rosenhaus, and in hopes of mending fences with the Eagles, Terrell Owens has been working on an interpretive dance expressing forgiveness, understanding and compassion that he hopes to debut for his teammates this week.
-- In theory, Eagles running back Brian Westbrook's new five-year contract extension is worth more than $25 million. But Westbrook is unaware all the money is tied up in performance bonuses he'll never reach as the feature back in Andy Reid's offense, such as averaging 10 carries a game.
-- The premise of ABC's "Commander in Chief" -- a woman rising to a powerful position -- is loosely based on the career of Dick Vermeil.
-- God has informed Kurt Warner that the Bible verse that reads: "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me," is void when the Arizona Cardinals are involved.
-- Referee Ed Hochuli covered up his arms with long sleeves during Sunday's Steelers-Packers game not because the temperature dipped into the low 40s but because Wisconsin law prohibits pythons from being loose in public.
-- Michael Vick honestly believes passing for 228 yards against the Miami Dolphins on Sunday should quiet his many doubters.
-- Michael Vick is insane.
How They Spent Their Bye Weeks ...
Bills: trying to keep a straight face when Willis McGahee says he's the best running back in the NFL; daring J.P. Losman to jump over the Niagara Falls; asking their coach to show them his Oscar from "Dances With Wolves."
Cowboys: taking turns driving Jerry Jones to and from his daily plastic surgery appointments; messing with Texas; asking Bill Parcells how many Super Bowls he has won without Bill Belichick.
Broncos: asking Maurice Clarett to please get off their porch; sending thank-you cards to the Browns for their defensive line; helping Jake Plummer run off all the birds who have nested in his face.
Rams: blocking Mike Martz's calls; eating heart-healthy foods; continuing development of new running plays to expand beyond the two Martz had scribbled on a napkin and buried way in the back of the team's playbook.
Terrell Owens: screwing with his Donovan McNabb voodoo doll; watching "Desperate Housewives"; informing McNabb's mom that her soup is lousy; shopping for some new full-body tights; pricing real estate in Oakland.
I thought it was worth posting.
By DJ Gallo
Special to Page 2
Hundreds of years from now when historians are examining this NFL Week 9 wrap-up column and weighing its merits among the greatest works ever written, I don't want them to deduct points if I fail to touch on tonight's sure-to-be historic and life-altering Colts-Patriots matchup. And as we've all learned by now, thanks to the endless pregame hype, it is a contest that rivals a Yankees-Red Sox game in its importance to our national psyche and our future as a people.
Therefore, before commenting on Sunday's JV action -- and I had half a mind to ignore it completely because of its sickening levels of non-Colts-Patriots-ness -- I want to preview this evening's varsity tilt with some in-depth analysis on what New England must do to beat the favored Colts.
Patriots: Keys To The Game
1. Pray to God. (Or Tedy Bruschi. Whichever deity they feel is most powerful.)
2. Keep an eye on Colts linebacker Cato June. Dwight Freeney might get all the publicity on the Indianapolis defense, but as anyone who has seen the "Pink Panther" movies knows, Cato can attack from anywhere and without warning.
3. Rattle Peyton Manning with mood music. The Colts quarterback will come into the game with a determined and aggressive attitude. But if the Patriots pipe in Kenny Chesney music during the pregame warm-ups -- I suggest either "You Had Me From Hello" or "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem" -- it will take Manning's edge off.
4. Don't let the Colts get a lead. That will only allow them to gain confidence and start believing they can finally beat the Patriots. If Indianapolis does get a lead, however, New England must have injured safety Gus Scott activated so he can inform Manning that he played his college ball at Florida. Armed with that knowledge, Manning should then start hitting Scott in the chest with passes for the rest of the game.
So that's that. Now on to Sunday's action:
Headlines That Are Probably In Newspapers This Morning &
Baton Rouge: "Saints game poorly attended due to fear of Tom Benson attacks"
Phoenix: "Cardinals games poorly attended due to presence of Cardinals"
New York: "Vinny Testaverde euthanized"
Philadelphia: "Eagles succumb to locker room cancer"
San Francisco: "Rodeo cowboy Pickett fails to lasso Giants, but arms headline writers with tons of lame wordplay options"
Eight Things I Thought I Thought While Snorting Coffee Grounds Off A Stripper's Back
1. If Joey Harrington is going to continue to play this way, he should at least have some fun with it and pull a page from Chad Johnson's book. How awesome would it be if Harrington had a list of defensive backs from every opponent posted in his locker titled "Who Intercepted #3 in 2005"? And then after each game he could check off all the names. As well as writing the names of the linemen and linebackers who picked him off in the margins.
2. Bengals rookie receiver Chris Henry was yelled at by his coaches Sunday after receiving an excessive celebration penalty following a fourth-quarter touchdown catch. And for good reason, since Henry should know that his coaches will not, under any circumstances, put up with a receiver who celebrates and dances around. It's a strict policy they have there in Cincinnati on that kind of thing.
3. The football fans of Louisiana might take heat from some this week because only 32,637 fans showed up at LSU's 93,000-seat Tiger Stadium for the Saints' game against the Bears. But I have it on good authority that the 60,363 no-shows were out searching for Tom Benson in hopes of doing him bodily harm. And I commend them.
4. Say what you will about the comments of Fisher DeBerry, or even those of Joe Paterno, but the men obviously care only about college football. And I say that because after seeing both Byron Leftwich and Charlie Batch "run" with the ball a few times Sunday, I realized that DeBerry and Paterno obviously don't watch many NFL games.
5. The fact that former king of the turnover Jake Plummer has played well enough this year to earn a new nickname, "No Mistake Jake," well ... the only thing that would surprise me more is to one day hear the phrase: "Adam Carolla, TV ratings dynamo."
6. Very interesting Tom Brady interview on "60 Minutes" Sunday night. In the piece, Brady expressed yet again that he is just a regular guy, and said his three Super Bowl rings have left him unfulfilled. "I reached my goal, my dream. It's got to be more than this. I mean, this isn't what it's all cracked up to be," he admitted. I was surprised to hear Brady say that because I've always figured he had a very fulfilling life outside of football, what with all the photo shoots, baby goat hugging and porn site surfing. Now all I can do is hope he never mixes those three hobbies in hopes of breaking out of his malaise, as I simply can not imagine anything positive coming out of that.
7. Speaking of unsavory activities, according to The Charlotte Observer, two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were arrested early Sunday morning after an incident at a Tampa nightclub in which they got into a fight with patrons. The patrons had complained the pair was hogging the bathroom. Oh, and I should probably mention the cheerleaders were hogging the bathroom because they were supposedly having themselves some sex. But before you judge these young ladies for their actions, first consider that what they were doing to each other might merely be how the Carolina cheerleaders conduct spirit checks.
8. I love how the networks have decided to fully embrace fantasy football by sporadically scrolling fantasy stat updates across the bottom of the screen. And they're equal opportunity about it, too, listing the lousy players right along with the stars. But I wish they'd take it one step further and throw in a bit of commentary: "C. Palmer -- 19-26, 248 yds, 2 TD ... D. Brees -- 20-27, 270 yds, TD, Int ... T. Green -- 22-25, 235 yds, TD ... G. Frerotte -- 13 -- ... You know what? If Gus Frerotte is your fantasy quarterback, you've already lost. Showing you his stats will just rub it in ... Kerry Collins -- 21-40, 175 yds, 2 TD, Int ... E. Manning -- 18-33, 251 yds, TD &"
Rumors From My Nonexistent Inside Sources &
-- At the urging of his agent, Drew Rosenhaus, and in hopes of mending fences with the Eagles, Terrell Owens has been working on an interpretive dance expressing forgiveness, understanding and compassion that he hopes to debut for his teammates this week.
-- In theory, Eagles running back Brian Westbrook's new five-year contract extension is worth more than $25 million. But Westbrook is unaware all the money is tied up in performance bonuses he'll never reach as the feature back in Andy Reid's offense, such as averaging 10 carries a game.
-- The premise of ABC's "Commander in Chief" -- a woman rising to a powerful position -- is loosely based on the career of Dick Vermeil.
-- God has informed Kurt Warner that the Bible verse that reads: "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me," is void when the Arizona Cardinals are involved.
-- Referee Ed Hochuli covered up his arms with long sleeves during Sunday's Steelers-Packers game not because the temperature dipped into the low 40s but because Wisconsin law prohibits pythons from being loose in public.
-- Michael Vick honestly believes passing for 228 yards against the Miami Dolphins on Sunday should quiet his many doubters.
-- Michael Vick is insane.
How They Spent Their Bye Weeks ...
Bills: trying to keep a straight face when Willis McGahee says he's the best running back in the NFL; daring J.P. Losman to jump over the Niagara Falls; asking their coach to show them his Oscar from "Dances With Wolves."
Cowboys: taking turns driving Jerry Jones to and from his daily plastic surgery appointments; messing with Texas; asking Bill Parcells how many Super Bowls he has won without Bill Belichick.
Broncos: asking Maurice Clarett to please get off their porch; sending thank-you cards to the Browns for their defensive line; helping Jake Plummer run off all the birds who have nested in his face.
Rams: blocking Mike Martz's calls; eating heart-healthy foods; continuing development of new running plays to expand beyond the two Martz had scribbled on a napkin and buried way in the back of the team's playbook.
Terrell Owens: screwing with his Donovan McNabb voodoo doll; watching "Desperate Housewives"; informing McNabb's mom that her soup is lousy; shopping for some new full-body tights; pricing real estate in Oakland.
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HeavyArmsCustum - Lieutenant General
- Posts: 1701
- Joined: Sat Nov 20, 2004 5:03 pm
- Location: Terre Haute, IN. This place sucks.
by roadrunner » Mon Nov 07, 2005 7:12 pm
Big win for the Browns this weekend. They are ready for the playoff run. 
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
-Albert Einstein
-Albert Einstein
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roadrunner - Lieutenant General
- Posts: 1749
- Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 9:08 pm
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HeavyArmsCustum - Lieutenant General
- Posts: 1701
- Joined: Sat Nov 20, 2004 5:03 pm
- Location: Terre Haute, IN. This place sucks.
by Droxor » Tue Nov 08, 2005 5:16 am
I have made a bet and prediction 2 weeks ago to my dad betting Colts go undefeated and win the Championship. . .it's rough but I really think they can do it.
Yes any team can have a bad game, but I still think the colts are that real this year.
Yes any team can have a bad game, but I still think the colts are that real this year.
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Droxor - Lieutenant General
- Posts: 1760
- Joined: Thu May 19, 2005 4:56 pm
- Location: Olathe, Kansas
by HeavyArmsCustum » Tue Nov 08, 2005 6:10 pm
I'd love to think that too Drox. And i do when i'm being a fan.
But the game the scares me is when we go to the Bengals. The Steelers at home will be tough, but it's in the Dome.
Chargers in the Dome.
And going to Seattle will be harder then most think.
We can win each of those games, but the Colts are focused right now on the Texans.
But the game the scares me is when we go to the Bengals. The Steelers at home will be tough, but it's in the Dome.
Chargers in the Dome.
And going to Seattle will be harder then most think.
We can win each of those games, but the Colts are focused right now on the Texans.
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HeavyArmsCustum - Lieutenant General
- Posts: 1701
- Joined: Sat Nov 20, 2004 5:03 pm
- Location: Terre Haute, IN. This place sucks.
by Gunther » Wed Nov 09, 2005 6:58 am
outlaw022 wrote:COWBOYS play eagles on monday night football and we know who is going 2 win this game COWBOYS!!!!
We can only hope that these former Jets and Pats will do it outlaw.
GuntertE, Lv 1, NC on Waterson
GunthertE, Lv3, TR on Mattherson
Landain, Lv3, TR on Jaeger
GunthertE, Lv3, TR on Mattherson
Landain, Lv3, TR on Jaeger
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Gunther - Lieutenant General
- Posts: 4931
- Joined: Thu Nov 18, 2004 10:35 pm
- Location: Boston, Massachusetts
by Droxor » Wed Nov 09, 2005 11:48 pm
The TO story. . .HALARIOUS
The Priest Homes Story. . . Heart Breaking
The Larry Johnson story. . . T.B.D.
My prediction? Eagles will CUT T.O. at the end of the season. OR!!!!
(This is a long shot mind you) A trade for Randy Moss perhaps????
The Priest Homes Story. . . Heart Breaking
The Larry Johnson story. . . T.B.D.
My prediction? Eagles will CUT T.O. at the end of the season. OR!!!!
(This is a long shot mind you) A trade for Randy Moss perhaps????
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Droxor - Lieutenant General
- Posts: 1760
- Joined: Thu May 19, 2005 4:56 pm
- Location: Olathe, Kansas
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