WoW quest. . .really. . .

[Droxor]

This is a post I made on the Blizzard Off-Topic WoW boards, under my Druid "Auctus". You can go check it out, http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/threa ... 8513&sid=1 or just read it here.

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Dear Blizzard,

I was just curious what was the inspriation behind some of these unrealistic quest? I mean. . .I understand this is a fantasy world and all. . .but our imagination can only carry us so far. I believe a good majority of your quest are fun, and tickle the imagination. . .but let's take a look at some of the more disturbing and less believeable quest. Now, I'm deffinetly a big fan of dropping bombs that hit for 15k on NPCs while you fly over them, and uncovering secret plots of the deffias brotherhood, but some of these quest really get my goat.

If I have to kill dwarfs, or any crature for that matter, and grab 10 heads. . .why don't I get a head with each kill? Are they enchanted dwarfs? Do they dance in the moonlight with no heads? Did I hit them so hard that the head rolled off into the bushes and I lost it in the heat of battle? "For the last time Pali. . .when the target is about to die. . .QUIT JUDGING IT RIGHT IN THE FACE!"

If I need to collect Murloc eyes. . .why don't I get 2 per kill. Sure. . .maybe one got in a fork fight as a child and is wearing an eye patch. . .shoot. . .maybe they all got in fork fights, but c'mon why do I have to go through 30 murlocs for 8 eyes! You mean to tell me I was being swung at by cratures that make creepy sounds like "Bllllaaaaauuuuhhggggrgrgrg" with no eyes! I was being attacked by the School for the Blind: Special Murloc Forces?!

"Dear Auctus. . .I have a strange fetish for Skeleton Fingers. . .oh. . .and I also like to dip them in Spiders Venom. . .but sad to say. . .out of the 200 spiders in the forest. . .most of them Do not have venom. . .but they still can poison you. . . .so please be carefull."_________Need I say more?

If I need to go find a toolbox that an ogre picked up, why do I have to sort through 40 dead ogres to find it? I mean. . .Why can't I just use my ornate spyglass to find the ONE ogre walking around. . .with a GIANT RED TOOLBOX in his arm. . .because we all know. . .that with the 2 inch piece of clothing they wear THEY ARE NOT HIDING IT ANYWHERE. . .even for an ogre that would be painfull and unrealistic.

Was anyone else exctied to make their first Yeti cloak? I know I was. . .I thought "How easy to get a few patches of fur off of these Yetis". Little did I know that out of 60 Yetis 58 of them had Tupes from Walmart! Everytime I would go to grab a nice clumb of that oh so sweet smelling Yeti hair. . .I would yank off someone's dead horses tail instead. Who would of thought the only Yeti cave for miles was really a retreat for Bald Yetis?

When I need to scare someone with 20 Gorrila giblets for the 15 copper he owes captain take-a-shower 10 feet away. . .I have 2 questions. 1) Why can't I pay the captain his 15 copper for the experience. 2) Will the guy, who has a really strange fear of giblets, REALLY be less affraid of 19 giblets and not 20? "Hufa! You dareth try to scare me with 19 Giblets neive? T'would take more than that to get thy copper coins back!"

Jee. . .I'm glad that Whelp didn't have scales. . . .

Oh. . .and finnaly. . .I need some bear paws and wolf fangs. . .but they just aren't looting for me. . .WHY DO I KEEP ATTACKING THE BEARS WITH NUBS FOR ARMS?!?! Silly me. . .and those wolves. . .althought they were gumming me to death they still bit for a convincing 10% of my health. Why can't I bite people in combat. . .oh I remmember. . .blizzard gave me teeth. . .it's not a valid move.


I enjoyed most of the gameplay. . .my first 3 characters. . .but when you listen to the same record over and over again. . .with the sort of results from quest I stated above. . .it can get to be like a rash. . .the more you think about it. . .the more it burns.

Yours Truely -
Auctus/Valens/Droxor/Ranvier/Tiranus

[Gunther]

Very well done, Droxor. That was fantastic. My favorite line:
"I was being attacked by the School for the Blind: Special Murloc Forces?! "

I couldn't open the link for some reason. What sort of responses did you get to this?

[PanzerFaust]

Rofl! I couldn't get the link to work either, though.

[TheLoneTerran]

Oh very nice job man. This sounds a lot like my collect 30 Hillsbrad Human skulls and my thoughts were, why do they have to be Hillsbrad skulls, is there a difference? Oh and the fact that I had to kill exactly 158 people to get 30 skulls. Argh!

Very nicely done. I'm guessing thats your ta-ta for WoW now that Vanguard is out?

[Tackalt]

Rofl! I couldn't get the link to work either, though.

Delete the comma that was tagged on at the end of the URL. Fail.

[Droxor]

Link fixed Glad you all liked it.

I was asked to repost it on General forums because it was to on topic. so here is the link the newest posted one on the General Boards.

http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/threa ... 40&sid=1#0

[roadrunner]

Oh the memories. laughed my ass off. When they said fantasy they were not kidding with many of the WoW quests.