Random Complaint Generator

[Socco]

Complaint Generator.

Fun if you want to make an automated, semi-coherent rant.

I'll pick on Gunther as the local forum whore...

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Warning!

By my word, we are a nation of prostitutes. By this I mean that as long as we are fat, warm, and dry we don't care what Gunther does. It is precisely that lack of caring that explains why Gunther's recommendations will have consequences -- very serious consequences. We ought to begin doing something about that. We ought to fight the warped, distorted, misshapen, unwholesome monstrosity that Gunther's exegeses have become. We ought to spread the word that those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Of course, if Gunther had learned anything from history, he'd know that he has never satisfactorily proved his assertion that he has achieved sainthood. He has merely justified that assertion with the phrase, "Because I said so."

Gunther has only one goal: to give an air of scientific impartiality to biased judgments. He is a human leech dedicated to sucking the life out of our doomed corpses. Which brings me to my next criticism of Gunther. Although there's no denying that his claims are pure tripe, it may be somewhat more controversial to allege that I believe I have finally figured out what makes people like Gunther replicate the most uncouth structures of contemporary life. It appears to be a combination of an overactive mind, lack of common sense, assurance of one's own moral propriety, and a total lack of exposure to the real world.

In light of my stance on this issue, ornery incubi will always band together to progressively narrow the sphere of human freedom. How much more illumination does that fact need before Gunther can grasp it? Assuming the answer is "a substantial amount", let me point out that we have to consider all of our options. Am I aware of how Gunther will react when he reads that last sentence? Yes. Do I care? No, because his understrappers believe that we should derive moral guidance from his glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented intimations. It should not be surprising that they believe this, however. As we all know, minds that have been so maimed that they believe that all it takes to start a rabbit farm is a magician's magic hat can believe anything, especially if it's false.

Given Gunther's current mind-set, I have one itsy-bitsy problem with Gunther's expostulations. Videlicet, they dispense outright misinformation and flashlight-under-the-chin ghost stories. And that's saying nothing about how I am convinced that there will be a strong effort on his part to eviscerate freedom of speech and sexual privacy rights in a matter of days. This effort will be disguised, of course. It will be cloaked in deceit, as such efforts always are. That's why I'm informing you that I have to wonder where Gunther got the idea that it is my view that children should get into cars with strangers who wave lots of yummy candy at them. This sits hard with me because it is simply not true and I've never written anything to imply that it is.

Anyone who takes even a cursory glance at this letter will quickly discover that Gunther's a financial predator who preys on the elderly, the gullible, and the vulnerable. He seeks their assets to support his own lavish lifestyle. Keep that in mind while I state the following: Gunther wants to bad-mouth worthy causes. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background.

Gunther has stated that might makes right. That's just pure despotism. Well, in Gunther's case, it might be pure ignorance, seeing that Gunther craves more power. I say we should give him more power -- preferably, 10,000 volts of it. If he can overawe and befuddle a sufficient number of prominent individuals then it will become virtually impossible for anyone to review the basic issues at the root of the debate. Maybe Gunther just can't handle harsh reality.

There is no excuse for the innumerable errors of fact, the slovenly and philistine artistic judgments, the historical ineptitude, the internal contradictions, and the various half-truths, untruths, and gussied-up truths that litter every one of Gunther's essays from the first word to the last. It's not just that Gunther may come to represent the most insidious corruption of ideals yet but also that what really irks me is that he has presented us with a Hobson's choice. Either we let him biologically or psychologically engineer impractical tricksters to make them even more cantankerous than they already are or he'll subject us to the vapid yapping of snivelling, bilious fussbudgets. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but he accuses me of being raucous whenever I state that he stands for rogue authority, social directives, and onerous laws that weaken personal freedoms. All right, I'll admit that I have a sharp tongue and sometimes write with a bit of a poison pen but the fact remains that if Gunther opened his eyes, he'd realize that it would be hard to find anyone who doesn't agree that he is secretly saying that I should just become the target of prejudice, ridicule, discrimination, and physical violence.

Gunther's ethics promote a redistribution of wealth. This is always an appealing proposition for Gunther's sycophants because much of the redistributed wealth will undoubtedly end up in the hands of the redistributors as a condign reward for their loyalty to Gunther. If nothing else, he looks primarily at a person's superficial qualities such as physiognomy and mannerisms. I, in contrast, consider how likely a person is to counteract the subtle, but pervasive, social message that says that my bitterness at Gunther is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. That's what's important to me. Either way, his sophistries are evil. They're evil because they cause global warming; they make your teeth fall out; they give you spots; they incite nuclear war. And, as if that weren't enough, Gunther has nothing but contempt for you, and you don't even know it. That's why I feel obligated to inform you that I want to fight for what is right. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé but because I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people. I can therefore assure you that by brainwashing his cultists with Fabianism, he makes them easy to lead, easy to program, and easy to enslave.

Individually, Gunther's tractates let advanced weaponry fall into the hands of the most phlegmatic sods you'll ever see. But linked together, Gunther's scare tactics could easily turn the trickle of exclusivism into a tidal wave. Oddly enough, it's amazing how low Gunther will stoop to replace the search for truth with a situationist relativism based on pushy racialism. Stranger still, he holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City -- sterile obstacles to progress who foster chauvinism at every opportunity. Most pundits are uncertain about the magnitude of the threat posed by his subliminal psywar campaigns. But it goes further than that; as that last sentence suggests, his tricks all stem from one, simple, faulty premise -- that he could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. My goal for this letter was to establish clear, justifiable definitions of pessimism and careerism so that you can defend a decision to take action when Mr. Gunther's confreres disguise the complexity of color, the brutality of class, and the importance of religion and sexual identity in the construction and practice of authoritarianism. Know that I have done my best while trying always to improve the lot of humankind. Let an honest history judge.

[rhonnin]

If I recall this made a run through here 2 years ago or so and that Gunther was the first victim then as well.

[McGuyver]

But I still like to see this stuff come around again. It's always nice to see we can count on Gunther for just about anything even if it's the butt of a joke.

[Socco]

Oh well, I didn't remember it appearing on these forums before

[Damiant]

love this thing



The last thing I wanted to do this Saturday night was spend several hours writing, editing, and typing this letter. However, I needed to do it because it's unquestionably the best way to present another paradigm in opposition to Damaen's myopic indiscretions. Perhaps before going on, I should describe Damaen to you. Damaen is filthy, pugnacious, and fatuous. Furthermore, he yearns to suppress people's instinct and intellect. I unmistakably cannot emphasize enough how much I resent his flimflams. Although I agree with those who allege that he seems to have a bitter ideological conflict with my statement that he is unable to support his assertions with documentation of any sort, nevertheless, I cannot agree with the subject matter and attitude that is woven into every one of his insane jokes. I am truly at a loss for words when he asserts that merit is adequately measured by his methods and qualifications. He can't possibly be serious. I suspect that the real story here is that I am not embarrassed to admit that I have neither the training, the experience, the license, nor the clinical setting necessary to properly look at our situation realistically and from a viewpoint that takes in the whole picture. Nevertheless, I definitely do have the will to stop his encroachments on our heritage. That's why I truly profess that Damaen occasionally shows what appears to be warmth, joy, love, or compassion. You should realize, however, that these positive expressions are more feigned than experienced and invariably serve an ulterior motive, such as to scatter about in profusion an abundance of pro-Damaen morals. We must discuss, openly and candidly, a vision for a harmonious, multiracial society. We must punish Damaen for his avaricious warnings. And we must give him a rhadamanthine warning not to doctor evidence and classification systems and make demonic generalizations to support unbridled, preconceived views. Please join me in incorporating these words into our living credo.

[BigBossMonkey]

http://www.theenforcers.org/forums/view ... t=complain

[rhonnin]

Lol, I knew someone would be less lazy than I and dig it up.

[BigBossMonkey]

All I did was type "Complain" into the search. Was pretty easy to find.

[rhonnin]

If only Socco had held off a few more days posting it could have been a 2 year anniversary post.

[Socco]

Yeah, I get it, it's a repost :p

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In this letter I intend to express my views about The Enforcers with gentleness and respect. But first, I'm going to jump ahead a bit and talk in general terms about how it is important to realize that The Enforcers's suzerainty over satanic clowns may enable it to redefine unbridled self-indulgence as a virtue, as the ultimate test of personal freedom. Then, I'll back up and fill in some of the details. Okay, so to start with the general stuff, we must soon make one of the most momentous decisions in history. We must decide whether to let The Enforcers perpetuate myths that glorify recidivism or, alternatively, whether we should view the realms of stoicism and interdenominationalism not as two opposing poles but as two continua. Upon this decision rests the stability of society and the future peace of the world. My view on this decision is that The Enforcers likes to revive the ruinous excess of a bygone era to bounce and blow amidst the ruinous excess of the present era. Such activity can flourish only in the dark, however. If you drag it into the open, The Enforcers and its bootlickers will run for cover, like cockroaches in a dirty kitchen when the light is turned on suddenly during the night. That's why we must denounce The Enforcers's effusions.

Yet there's much more to it than that. I am not fooled by The Enforcers's insipid and eristic rhetoric. I therefore gladly accept the responsibility of notifying others that we can all have daydreams about Happy Fuzzy Purple Bunny Land, where everyone is caring, loving, and nice. Not only will those daydreams not come true, but either The Enforcers has no real conception of the sweep of history, or it is merely intent on winning some debating pin by trying to pierce a hole in my logic with "facts" that are taken out of context. Some will say I exaggerate but actually I'm being quite lenient. I didn't mention, for example, that I have some of The Enforcers's writings in front of me right now. In one of them, The Enforcers maintains that we have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years. If you don't find that shocking then consider that I do not appreciate being labeled. No one does. Nevertheless, the public is like a giant that The Enforcers has blindfolded, drugged, and gagged. This giant has plugs in his ears and The Enforcers leads him around by the nose. Clearly, such a giant needs to disabuse The Enforcers of the notion that we should avoid personal responsibility. That's why I feel obligated to notify the giant (i.e., the public) that paternalism is dangerous. The Enforcers's pharisaical version of it is doubly so.

If we don't dispense justice then The Enforcers will increase alienation and delinquency among our young people. This message has been brought to you by the Department of Blinding Obviousness. What might not be so obvious, however, is that only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to build a coalition of stouthearted people devoted to stopping The Enforcers. But the first step is to acknowledge that it wants us to emulate the White Queen from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, who strives to believe "as many as six impossible things before breakfast". Then again, even the White Queen would have trouble believing that The Enforcers's précis epitomize wholesome family entertainment. I prefer to believe things that my experience tells me are true, such as that The Enforcers's statements such as "Those of us who oppose The Enforcers would rather run than fight" indicate that we're not all looking at the same set of facts. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual.

Hateful extortionists like The Enforcers always lie. Even an occasional truth is intended only to cover up a bigger falsification and is therefore, itself, a deliberate untruth. The Enforcers uses the word "saccharomucilaginous" to justify challenging all I stand for. In doing so, it is reversing the meaning of that word as a means of disguising the fact that if we fail to guide the world into an age of peace, justice, and solidarity then all of our sacrifices will be as forgotten as the sand blowing across Ozymandias's dead empire. The "decay of that colossal wreck," as the poet Shelley puts it, teaches us that when I observe The Enforcers's hired goons' behavior, I can't help but recall the proverbial expression, "monkey see, monkey do". That's because, like it, they all want to sully my reputation. Also, while a monkey might think that The Enforcers is a paragon of morality and wisdom, the fact remains that I see how important its rotten ramblings are to its devotees and I laugh. I laugh because it has written volumes about how the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly. Don't believe a word of it, though. The truth is that if I didn't sincerely believe that it is so tied up in its personal dreams that it is oblivious to what is happening in the world around it, then I wouldn't be writing this letter.

Terrorism is the driving force behind The Enforcers's writings. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but you get the general drift. Why can't we find even one well-designed, peer-reviewed, longitudinal study that clearly demonstrates that The Enforcers's supercilious, salacious entourage is a benign and charitable agency? Probably because no comprehensive study has ever drawn such a pea-brained conclusion. In contrast, many studies indicate that The Enforcers exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up its obvious inferiority.

The Enforcers needs to stop living in denial. It needs to wake up and realize that we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with it. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that it used to be a major proponent of antidisestablishmentarianism. Nowadays, The Enforcers's putting all of its support behind militarism. As they say, plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

One argument The Enforcers makes is that sleazy politicos are more deserving of honor than our nation's war heroes. That's just sheer arrant nonsense. The truth is that it is more than a purely historical question to ask, "How did its reign of terror start?" or even the more urgent question, "How might it end?". No, we must ask, "How does it benefit from defending what I call amoral sensualists against the just expostulations of the public?" Please do not stop reading here, presuming that the answer is apparent and that no further knowledge is needed. Such is unequivocally not the case. In fact, I'd bet no one ever told you that The Enforcers should take all the bull-pucky it's been throwing at us and fertilize its garden with it. Stated differently, it likes tracts that siphon off scarce international capital intended for underdeveloped countries. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I'd say that it has been said that baleful, unscrupulous good-for-nothings represent one of the most insecure wings of rummy commercialism you can find. I believe that to be true. I also believe that The Enforcers is a rambunctious, uncouth punk. I use that label only when it's true. If you don't believe it is, then consider that I have a message for The Enforcers. My message is that, for the good of us all, it should never pollute the great canon of English literature with references to its unsophisticated fibs. It should never even try to do such an evil thing. To make myself perfectly clear, by "never", I don't mean "maybe", "sometimes", or "it depends". I mean only that The Enforcers once said that it is brassbound to question its manuscripts. Oh, please. I'm just glad I hadn't eaten dinner right before I heard it say that. Otherwise, I'd probably still be vomiting too hard to tell you that you may be wondering why feebleminded charlatans latch onto The Enforcers's allegations. It's because people of that nature need to have rhetoric and dogma to recite during times of stress in order to cope. That's also why this is not Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia, where the state would be eager to provide pestilential delinquents with an irresistible temptation to outrage the very sensibilities of those who value freedom and fairness. Not yet, at least. But if The Enforcers were to exploit the feelings of charity and guilt that many people have over the plight of the homeless, social upheaval and violence would follow. It is therefore clear that I and The Enforcers part company when it comes to the issue of diabolism. It feels that it has the mandate of Heaven to leave behind a wake of bilious reaction while I aver that the people with the smallest minds always have the biggest mouths. But what, you may ask, does any of that have to do with the theme of this letter, viz., that it is entirely unmovable by truth or reason? To ask that question another way, why does it insist on boring holes in the hull of the boat in which it itself is also a passenger? That's the big question. If you knew the answer to that then you'd also know why when The Enforcers hears anyone say that intellectually challenged control freaks suffer from a collective self-image that prefers victimization to success and imposes a suffocating group conformity that ostracizes nonconformists, its answer is to convince impressionable young people that one can understand the elements of a scientific theory only by reference to the social condition and personal histories of the scientists involved. That's similar to taking a few drunken swings at a beehive: it just makes me want even more to listen to others.

What The Enforcers considers a fair shake, the rest of us consider a repressive, humiliating, culture-stripping experience. Now that that's cleared up, I'll continue with what I was saying before, that it contends that free speech is wonderful as long as you're not bashing it and the lecherous gaberlunzies in its gestapo. Sounds rather catty, doesn't it? Well, that's The Enforcers for you. While I am not attempting to argue openly in favor of any particular position, The Enforcers's mind has limited horizons. It is confined to the immediate and simplistic, with the inevitable consequence that everything is made banal and basic and is then leveled down until it is deprived of all spiritual life. The Enforcers's faithfuls mimic The Enforcers's behavior to the last jot and tittle, at least insofar as this essay is concerned. How can we trust an illiterate slovenly-type who actively conceals its true intentions? We can't. And besides, The Enforcers has been fairly successful in its efforts to reap a whirlwind of destroyed marriages, damaged children, and, quite possibly, a globe-wide expression of incurable sexually transmitted diseases. That just goes to show what can be done with a little greed, a complete lack of scruples, and the help of a bunch of discourteous card sharks.

For the most part, the hysteria and witch-hunts fueled by The Enforcers's antics will funnel significant amounts of money to unenlightened derelicts sooner or later. Still, I could go on for pages listing innumerable examples of The Enforcers's nutty revenge fantasies and self-aggrandizing mottos. I have already written enough, surely, to convince you that I stand by what I've written before, that you, of course, now need some hard evidence that The Enforcers is one of the world's major voices of classism. Well, how about this for evidence: I would never take a job working for it. Given its stinking pleas, who would want to? The Enforcers has recently been going around claiming that the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one's psyche is to squeeze every last drop of blood from our overworked, overtaxed bodies. You really have to tie your brain in knots to be gullible enough to believe that junk.

The Enforcers's cat's-paws resist seeing that The Enforcers's invectives rub me the wrong way. They resist seeing such things because to see them, to examine them, to think about them and draw conclusions from them is to summon up the courage to admonish The Enforcers not seven times, but seventy times seven. The Enforcers's peons claim that it is not only acceptable but indeed desirable to break our country's national and patriotic backbone and make it ripe for the slave's yoke of international jingoism. I say to them, "Prove it" -- not that they'll be able to, of course, but because The Enforcers is unwilling to stand up for what is true and right if there is no obvious advantage to it in doing so. Let me express that same thought in slightly different terms: The Enforcers is known for walking into crowded rooms and telling everyone there that cultural tradition has never contributed a single thing to the advancement of knowledge or understanding. Try, if you can, to concoct a statement better calculated to show how loathsome The Enforcers is. You can't do it. Not only that, but if the people generally are relying on false information sown by odious blusterers, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation. The recent outrage at The Enforcers's ravings may point to a brighter future. For now, however, I must leave you knowing that The Enforcers's hortatory exclamation that it would be beneficial for it to get everyone to march in lockstep with its brain-damaged, conceited emissaries makes me think that The Enforcers has failed entirely to grasp the essence of my criticisms of it.